Bad Dreams

Calling what I dream a "bad dream" seems like a simplification of what actually occurred. But in the simplest of words yes I have had some bad dreams through out this pregnancy with our rainbow. Suppose it is the uncertainty of the future and just hope that everything will work out. Could also be the fact that we are expecting a baby boy this time instead of identical twin girls. Everything is different this time around for sure. Just happy that I'm keeping a record of the day to day even if it's not that detailed for our baby boy. Holding onto hope for our future and also hope my bad dreams are a thing of the past.

Dreaming Of You, Firsts

While I sit here with something I thought I'd never have, another chance at being a mother, I dream of you. I dream of holding you in my arms. I dream of watching your daddy hold you and rock you to sleep. I dream of midnight feedings, nursery rhythms and lulabies. I dream of your first smiles, yours first laughs, but first dream of your first cries. I dream of the day when I tell you all the things I've been thinking of and you can tell me what you think too. I dream of your first steps, your first day at school, your graduation, your wedding day, and I dream of your first child. I dream of everything I have now, will have and all in between our first and last days together.

You are our miracle and we love you more than you'll ever know. When we meet you it will be almost ten years since we began trying for our family. It will be almost twelve years since your daddy and I were married, and it will be fourteen years since your daddy and I first met. 

Until now we've only had angels, your older siblings. Life if full of firsts, you'll be our first earthly child. To all the moments we have now and that await us we are so very thankful. 

To our rainbow baby we love you so very much. Forever and ever our beautiful baby boy. You're making our dreams come true with each day you're with us. 

Don't joke on April Fools

There are some things one should never joke about on April Fools. A fake pregnancy is one of them.

We are grateful for our pregnancy with our rainbow baby and hopeful for the future.