Friday, October 25, 2013
Awareness For PAIL / Yesterday's Thoughts
Thought for the evening. If sporting events can raise money for tragic events or breast cancer awareness, then why can't they raise money to help with pregnancy and infant loss? Perhaps help with monitoring once pregnant, especially in the case of complications related to pregnancy, and then have a system in place to help with the loss of a child. If sporting events and the local news even acknowledged this BIG thing that effects thousands of people, then who knows what would happen. Perhaps pregnancy and infant loss wouldn't be so taboo anymore.
The First Cold Day Of Fall / Missing Milestones
As I lay here this morning wrapped around a blanket this first cold day of fall watching a movie I wonder about our twins.
What would they look like now? How big would they be at 5-6 months? Would they be rolling? How often would they smile? How often would they giggle? Would they like our cats? We are missing so many important milestone moments.
So many people who know us don't know what to say or I suppose feel the grieving period should be over. But after eight long years trying and only to have all our hopes and dreams taken from us, this is not something easier gotten over. Our first anniversary of their loss and birth arrives in December, these holidays will be challenging to say the least.
We will never get over this loss, we heal from it. The scar will forever remain, this is not a memory we want to forget. And while others get to watch their children grow we only have memories and photos.
I've wondered before about karma, life lessons and reasons for things being. There was no reason for our twins to die but it happened. Had we known about the risks sooner we could have taken means to try and save them but there would still of been no guarantee. Twin twin transfusion syndrome is a horrible condition.
Our twins did not leave us just to be forgotten. Their lives had meaning. I fight on speaking out for them. Isn't this what parents do? Stand up, defend, fight and protect their children?
I am an advocate for pregnancy and infant loss, to bring awareness about it. Don't like it, unfriend me, because this is who I am now. Losing our children changed me forever and that part people wanted to see again died when they did. You're never the same after loss, you adapt, change, grow and accept the new surroundings.
I am a good mother. And I will be a good mother to our rainbow when that day arrives. I feel like my life has so much more to offer. This can't be it. My path in this lifetime is to be a mother, I've always known it to be true. That's not everyone's career choice but it's mine.
We are now on our ninth year of trying and ever hopeful to be parents to children who are breathing, screaming, crying, laughing; our rainbow after the storm of loss. Ever hopeful for our happy ending and new beginning.
What would they look like now? How big would they be at 5-6 months? Would they be rolling? How often would they smile? How often would they giggle? Would they like our cats? We are missing so many important milestone moments.
So many people who know us don't know what to say or I suppose feel the grieving period should be over. But after eight long years trying and only to have all our hopes and dreams taken from us, this is not something easier gotten over. Our first anniversary of their loss and birth arrives in December, these holidays will be challenging to say the least.
We will never get over this loss, we heal from it. The scar will forever remain, this is not a memory we want to forget. And while others get to watch their children grow we only have memories and photos.
I've wondered before about karma, life lessons and reasons for things being. There was no reason for our twins to die but it happened. Had we known about the risks sooner we could have taken means to try and save them but there would still of been no guarantee. Twin twin transfusion syndrome is a horrible condition.
Our twins did not leave us just to be forgotten. Their lives had meaning. I fight on speaking out for them. Isn't this what parents do? Stand up, defend, fight and protect their children?
I am an advocate for pregnancy and infant loss, to bring awareness about it. Don't like it, unfriend me, because this is who I am now. Losing our children changed me forever and that part people wanted to see again died when they did. You're never the same after loss, you adapt, change, grow and accept the new surroundings.
I am a good mother. And I will be a good mother to our rainbow when that day arrives. I feel like my life has so much more to offer. This can't be it. My path in this lifetime is to be a mother, I've always known it to be true. That's not everyone's career choice but it's mine.
We are now on our ninth year of trying and ever hopeful to be parents to children who are breathing, screaming, crying, laughing; our rainbow after the storm of loss. Ever hopeful for our happy ending and new beginning.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Hope
Thinking of the future and holding onto hope. It is the unknown that bothers me but suppose life wouldn't be interesting if we knew what was to happen.
Saturday, October 19, 2013
About the Pink and Blue Awareness Ribbon & Male Breast Cancer Awareness
The Breast Cancer Site on Facebook recently posted a ribbon that was pink and blue for male breast cancer awareness. It has since stirred up a lot of mixed emotions and caused many in the PAIL (pregnancy and infant loss) community to be upset and offended by the idea of having to share their ribbon with other causes.
I believe this month being Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month brings more emotions to the surface and that it would have been in the best interest of The Breast Cancer Site to share this ribbon graphic that states, "The Ribbons are Pink, But should be Pink & Blue, Women get Breast Cancer, But Men Get It Too!"; another month. However this also happens to be Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
This ribbon has been established for men who have fought breast cancer for awareness since 1996, 17 years ago. There are other causes that the pink and blue ribbon represent for awareness too: Pro-life, Genital integrity, Inflammatory breast cancer awareness, and Infertility awareness.
In 1988 the month of October was officially designated as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. In 2002 a movement was begun first in the USA and then in the UK and other countries. 2002 was the first year the pink and blue ribbons were used to help raise pregnancy and infant loss awareness. In 2002, the first October 15th Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day occurred in the USA and UK. National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day was passed in the House of Representatives on September 28, 2006 in the USA.
As an angel mommy I am not worried, bothered or upset to share the pregnancy and infant loss awareness ribbon with male breast cancer awareness, after all they had it first.
This is what I've learned during my research. Hopefully it can help clear up some confusion and help everyone understand some things about the awareness ribbons associated with copyright dates and causes they stand for.
Links from where information and facts were taken are listed last.
"The Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Movement began in the United States on October 25, 1988, when then-American President Ronald Reagan designated the month of October 1988 as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month."
"The October 15th Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day (PAILRD) Campaign began in 2002 as an American movement started by Robyn Bear, Lisa Brown, and Tammy Novak. Together, they petitioned the federal government, as well as the governors of each of the 50 states, and by October 15, 2002 (the first observance of PAILRD), 20 states had signed proclamations recognizing the date as such. As a result of the American campaign effort, Concurrent Resolution 222, Supporting the goals and ideals of National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day was passed in the House of Representatives on September 28, 2006."
"To date, all 50 American states have yearly proclamations, with Arkansas, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Missouri, New York, Rhode Island, and South Dakota adopting permanent proclamations."
"International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance
Contrary to the popular belief that Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day is internationally legislated and observed as an international day of remembrance, this is not the case.
Through the legislative campaigns of individuals world wide Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day is becoming an international day of observation. Germany and most other non-English speaking countries do not observe this day."
"As a result of the American campaign effort, Concurrent Resolution 222, supporting the goals and ideals of National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, was passed in the House of Representatives on September 28, 2006. House Concurrent Resolution 222 proclaims October 15 of each year to be Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day in the United States."
"The International Wave of Light invites participants from around the world to light a candle in honor of PAILRD, starting at 1900 hours on October 15 in their respective time zones, and to leave the candle burning for at least an hour. The result is a continuous chain of light spanning the globe for a 24 hour period in honor and remembrance of the children who die during pregnancy or shortly after birth."
"October 15th 2002 was the inaugural Baby Loss Awareness Day in the UK and was initiated by a group of parents inspired by Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day in the United States. Through the sale of, handmade blue and pink ribbon pins they raised several thousand pounds for UK organisations supporting bereaved parents."
"The 2003 campaign saw the first ‘Wave of Light’ service held at the American Church in London and attended by representatives and members of each participating organisation. There were also services held across the UK from Scotland to Surrey. Once again, the ribbon pins were made and sold by bereaved parents."
"The 2004 campaign was a more formal collaboration between the organisations involved. The ribbon pins were commercially manufactured and balloon releases were held in several locations. The group organised a secular service at the Royal Statistical Society in London and there were over twenty other events around the UK."
"A pink and blue ribbon is sometimes used to symbolize breast cancer in men, which is relatively rare. The pink and blue ribbon was designed in 1996 by Nancy Nick, president and founder of the John W. Nick Foundation to bring awareness that "Men Get Breast Cancer Too!""
"The pink and blue ribbon is a symbol for promoting:
Pro-life
Genital integrity
Male breast cancer
Inflammatory breast cancer awareness
Infertility awareness
Infant loss awareness
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day is October 15 in Canada, United States, Australia, and UK."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pink_ribbon
http://www.babyloss-awareness.org/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pregnancy_and_Infant_Loss_Remembrance_Day
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pink_and_blue_ribbon
http://www.october15th.com/
https://www.facebook.com/TheBreastCancerSite
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151636170741722&set=a.10150307536376722.331374.7210086721&type=1&relevant_count=1
I believe this month being Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month brings more emotions to the surface and that it would have been in the best interest of The Breast Cancer Site to share this ribbon graphic that states, "The Ribbons are Pink, But should be Pink & Blue, Women get Breast Cancer, But Men Get It Too!"; another month. However this also happens to be Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
This ribbon has been established for men who have fought breast cancer for awareness since 1996, 17 years ago. There are other causes that the pink and blue ribbon represent for awareness too: Pro-life, Genital integrity, Inflammatory breast cancer awareness, and Infertility awareness.In 1988 the month of October was officially designated as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. In 2002 a movement was begun first in the USA and then in the UK and other countries. 2002 was the first year the pink and blue ribbons were used to help raise pregnancy and infant loss awareness. In 2002, the first October 15th Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day occurred in the USA and UK. National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day was passed in the House of Representatives on September 28, 2006 in the USA.
As an angel mommy I am not worried, bothered or upset to share the pregnancy and infant loss awareness ribbon with male breast cancer awareness, after all they had it first.
This is what I've learned during my research. Hopefully it can help clear up some confusion and help everyone understand some things about the awareness ribbons associated with copyright dates and causes they stand for.
Links from where information and facts were taken are listed last.
"The Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Movement began in the United States on October 25, 1988, when then-American President Ronald Reagan designated the month of October 1988 as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month."
"The October 15th Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day (PAILRD) Campaign began in 2002 as an American movement started by Robyn Bear, Lisa Brown, and Tammy Novak. Together, they petitioned the federal government, as well as the governors of each of the 50 states, and by October 15, 2002 (the first observance of PAILRD), 20 states had signed proclamations recognizing the date as such. As a result of the American campaign effort, Concurrent Resolution 222, Supporting the goals and ideals of National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day was passed in the House of Representatives on September 28, 2006."
"To date, all 50 American states have yearly proclamations, with Arkansas, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Missouri, New York, Rhode Island, and South Dakota adopting permanent proclamations."
"International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance
Contrary to the popular belief that Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day is internationally legislated and observed as an international day of remembrance, this is not the case.
Through the legislative campaigns of individuals world wide Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day is becoming an international day of observation. Germany and most other non-English speaking countries do not observe this day."
"As a result of the American campaign effort, Concurrent Resolution 222, supporting the goals and ideals of National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, was passed in the House of Representatives on September 28, 2006. House Concurrent Resolution 222 proclaims October 15 of each year to be Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day in the United States."
"The International Wave of Light invites participants from around the world to light a candle in honor of PAILRD, starting at 1900 hours on October 15 in their respective time zones, and to leave the candle burning for at least an hour. The result is a continuous chain of light spanning the globe for a 24 hour period in honor and remembrance of the children who die during pregnancy or shortly after birth."
"October 15th 2002 was the inaugural Baby Loss Awareness Day in the UK and was initiated by a group of parents inspired by Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day in the United States. Through the sale of, handmade blue and pink ribbon pins they raised several thousand pounds for UK organisations supporting bereaved parents."
"The 2003 campaign saw the first ‘Wave of Light’ service held at the American Church in London and attended by representatives and members of each participating organisation. There were also services held across the UK from Scotland to Surrey. Once again, the ribbon pins were made and sold by bereaved parents."
"The 2004 campaign was a more formal collaboration between the organisations involved. The ribbon pins were commercially manufactured and balloon releases were held in several locations. The group organised a secular service at the Royal Statistical Society in London and there were over twenty other events around the UK."
"A pink and blue ribbon is sometimes used to symbolize breast cancer in men, which is relatively rare. The pink and blue ribbon was designed in 1996 by Nancy Nick, president and founder of the John W. Nick Foundation to bring awareness that "Men Get Breast Cancer Too!""
"The pink and blue ribbon is a symbol for promoting:
Pro-life
Genital integrity
Male breast cancer
Inflammatory breast cancer awareness
Infertility awareness
Infant loss awareness
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day is October 15 in Canada, United States, Australia, and UK."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pink_ribbon
http://www.babyloss-awareness.org/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pregnancy_and_Infant_Loss_Remembrance_Day
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pink_and_blue_ribbon
http://www.october15th.com/
https://www.facebook.com/TheBreastCancerSite
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151636170741722&set=a.10150307536376722.331374.7210086721&type=1&relevant_count=1
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Random Thoughts
So many random thoughts so I turned some of them into poetry. Not really about one particular thing but just sparks of inspiration to write. I don't seem to write often enough but when something inspires me I try to take advantage of it.
Should Have Been
'Should Have Been'
Today a day should have been ours
But taken away now left with hours
Sitting, waiting, watching the sun rise and set
Reasons to be screaming, crying, upset
Wondering and wishing for a better next year
You should have been with us, you should have been here
Written by Evelyn Schwenke (c) Wednesday, October 2nd 2013
Today a day should have been ours
But taken away now left with hours
Sitting, waiting, watching the sun rise and set
Reasons to be screaming, crying, upset
Wondering and wishing for a better next year
You should have been with us, you should have been here
Written by Evelyn Schwenke (c) Wednesday, October 2nd 2013
Something Needs To Change
'Something Needs To Change'
You say you're sweet, giving and kind
But from what I've seen you're not worth my time
So many fall for your little scheme
Sadly the trick is on them but not you or me
I know the truth, I've seen your real self
I'll admit my faults but you camouflage yours
How can it be that so many idolize what you do?
When I'm loyal to my cause, but what about you?
Like a thief in the night but stealing treasures every day
Praying on people who are willing to pay
My heart can't take much more, something needs to change
But until we unite together it will all stay the same
Written by Evelyn Schwenke (c) Wednesday, October 2nd 2013
You say you're sweet, giving and kind
But from what I've seen you're not worth my time
So many fall for your little scheme
Sadly the trick is on them but not you or me
I know the truth, I've seen your real self
I'll admit my faults but you camouflage yours
How can it be that so many idolize what you do?
When I'm loyal to my cause, but what about you?
Like a thief in the night but stealing treasures every day
Praying on people who are willing to pay
My heart can't take much more, something needs to change
But until we unite together it will all stay the same
Written by Evelyn Schwenke (c) Wednesday, October 2nd 2013
Sugar Coated BS
Even the most "kind people" can have the blackest of hearts, this is due to the false image they present of themselves. I don't appreciate these people because they are living a lie. What I try to do in my life is to be honest, use awareness, mindfulness and not use false speech. I feel that is a better way to live than how others do. I may not be appreciated for it, I may not be as liked for it because I'm not sugar coating any BS, but I'm being real. That's all.
Today and Last Year
Today was supposed to be different, this year was supposed to be different, last December we were not supposed to lose our twins. Trying to be hopeful for the future but sometimes it's difficult to see through the fog.
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Turning FB PINK and BLUE for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month this October!
The cover photo I decided to create for myself and for everyone who likes our fb page at Fruit Of The Womb TTTS Angels. Created similar cover photo graphics for our TTTS Angels page and our charity page at Fruit Of The Womb Angels. Uniting together and showing how strong we all are!
Our Beaded Bracelet Keepsake Waiting List 10/01/13
Our current waiting list for beaded bracelet keepsake orders from Fruit Of The Womb Angels
Current as of Tuesday, October 1st 2013
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~
List - angel baby name(s) - USA
Grace, Blake Nicole
Lizzy and Sis
Mariah
Jake Edward Carey
7 weeks, France
2 angels, Dorman
Angel Cobee Bell
My'Kel
Journey Leonard and Shelby Elizabeth
Chloe Danielle and Zoe Grace
Baby Stidham
Andrew Milan Martin
42 weeks, Higareda
Amera
Michael L. Betta
Masen James Fritzler
Harmony, Serenity
Elijah Alexander Larsen
Christopher Bryon and David Russel
Lane
Tiffany Nicole
Tovi Wren Smith
Richie Orion Smith
Jayarie
Kaleigh Joyce Henson
ShyAnn Elizabeth Laudrey
Erika Renee Pfeifer
Callie Murrell
Layla, Jayden
Keegan Dennis Taft
Miracle Baby Duran-Fleming, Angel Baby Duran-Fleming
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~
List - fatal diagnosed pregnancy, name(s) - USA
Raylee Jo
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~
List - angel baby name(s) - outside USA
Chloe Anne Battershell
Nevaeh Elizabeth and Naomi Rose Battershell
Hope Elizabeth, 7 weeks- Evans
(Currently unable to ship outside the USA,
Hopefully in the future we will be international)
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~
Shipped Keepsakes List
Gabriel
Treave Franklin Clark
Baby Finley
three babies, Watson
Baby Odom
Robbie and Jake
Tristin Angel
Hope Noel, Lucas David, June Bug
Elektra Carmen Sullivan
Nehemiah
Amy Heather Mandelbaum
Makenzi Dawn Shouse
Emma Star Moore
Jameson
Elijah
Lillian Rain and Liam River
Maggie Rose
Ronan Michael Mullens
Donna Kay Chrisley
4 months, Magner
Aimee Skyler Williams
Aiden Sifuentes
Austin Bradley Togneri
Katelynn Brooke Tipton
Mateo Luke Rochford
Baby Sexton
Spencer John Osterhout
Timothy William Jr.
Shiloah Rathmann
Tanya Jackson
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~
Pending to Ship Keepsakes List
Heavy Heart
My heart is heavy. So much going on these days and for weeks my hopes were elevated. Onto another month and trying not to lose hope for our future.
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