Thursday, December 26, 2013

And It Was A Merry Christmas For Our Cats


And it was a Merry Christmas for our fur babies. They each received a special catnip toy, an apple and a banana. 
I like to think it's in memory of our twins except that they bite and attack the toys lol.


The cats also got a new feather toy that dangles off a stick, interactive play time and they love feathers!


Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Angel's Day

Today is Christmas Eve and at our house it involves cooking, some prep work for tomorrow and then a celebration with my side of the family. I'm looking forward to tomorrow and what this week and especially this new year will bring. Hopeful for what the future has in store for us and most of all, mixed bittersweet feelings about our twins... I declared in a short way of explaining that our angel babies deserve a day too so that Christmas Eve would be also known as Angel's Day. I can't help but think about our girls and wonder about them, think about the what ifs and miss them terribly. Life just hasn't been the same without them. And while I write this I realize one big, important gift I had made for my husband in memory of our babies, I think I want to give it to him for Christmas and this way he will have it for their Birth Angelversary Day on the 28th of December. I need to find a box and wrap... Happy Angel's Day everyone! <3

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

What I've Learned While TTC

This is what I've learned in my infertility trying to conceive journey. 

-That you're not alone. 
-It's important to have those you can open up to and who listen without judgement. 
-That each journey is different. 
-What works for one may not work for another.
-That being told to "just relax and it will happen" doesn't mean it will happen. In fact it may stress you out more.
-Cherishing what you have when you have it and remembering how others fight for what you have, so be thankful.
-Trying not to be grouchy at those who complain about their pregnancy or how they "wish it were over already".
-Honoring the lives much wanted gone too soon while trying for another.
-Life continues forward no matter what you do, best to try and adapt than fight change.

I'm sure I could go on but these are a few things I've learned through the years.

Our journey is not over, this is not the end, this is still the beginning.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Our Beaded Bracelet Keepsake Waiting List 12/15/13

Our current waiting list for beaded bracelet keepsake orders from Fruit Of The Womb Angels

Current as of Sunday, December 15th 2013


~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Shipped Keepsakes List

Gabriel
Treave Franklin Clark
Baby Finley
three babies, Watson
Baby Odom
Robbie and Jake
Tristin Angel
Hope Noel, Lucas David, June Bug
Elektra Carmen Sullivan
Nehemiah
Amy Heather Mandelbaum
Makenzi Dawn Shouse
Emma Star Moore
Jameson
Elijah
Lillian Rain and Liam River
Maggie Rose
Ronan Michael Mullens
Donna Kay Chrisley
4 months, Magner
Aimee Skyler Williams
Aiden Sifuentes
Austin Bradley Togneri
Katelynn Brooke Tipton
Mateo Luke Rochford
Baby Sexton
Spencer John Osterhout
Timothy William Jr.
Shiloah Rathmann
Tanya Jackson

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Pending to Ship Keepsakes List

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Grace, Blake Nicole
Lizzy and Sis
Mariah
Jake Edward Carey
7 weeks, France
2 angels, Dorman
Angel Cobee Bell
My'Kel
Journey Leonard and Shelby Elizabeth
Chloe Danielle and Zoe Grace
Baby Stidham
Andrew Milan Martin
42 weeks, Higareda
Amera
Michael L. Betta
Masen James Fritzler
Harmony, Serenity
Elijah Alexander Larsen
Christopher Bryon and David Russel
Lane
Tiffany Nicole
Tovi Wren Smith
Richie Orion Smith
Jayarie
Kaleigh Joyce Henson
ShyAnn Elizabeth Laudrey
Erika Renee Pfeifer
Callie Murrell
Layla, Jayden
Keegan Dennis Taft
Miracle Baby Duran-Fleming, Angel Baby Duran-Fleming
8 weeks, Dillon W. Kephart, 5 weeks
Journey Leonard and Shelby Elizabeth Rivera
Sara Elizabeth, Ayanna Faith, James Knight
Raylee Jo
Chloe Anne Battershell
Nevaeh Elizabeth and Naomi Rose Battershell
Hope Elizabeth, 7 weeks- Evans


*Shipping out all orders that have been confirmed with full mailing address Monday morning, December 16th 2013. Hoping that everyone's keepsake helps bring some comfort and peace.

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Temporary Closing Of FOTWA

Decided to temporarily close our charity for the holiday and finish up all old and current beaded bracelet requests. It's for the best. This way I can focus on family, honoring our twins babies memories and focus on the future. We will be returning to our charity work with new keepsakes to offer in 2014. http://www.fruitofthewombangels.org/

A Year Ago

It was a year ago, I remember it vividly. Finally being able to relax enough and then all the blood... The fright and worry that something could be wrong, all the nurses and doctors rushing in and out of my hospital room, and then the sigh of relief when they told me everything was ok with our twins, most likely just bleeding from the surgery. That feeling would not last for long.

It was on a Sunday, December 9th 2012 when we lost our first daughter after their laser surgery on December 7th to try and save their lives because they had stage 3-4 twin twin transfusion syndrome. Then after tears holding onto hope and having another one of the worst night's ever with a horrible allergic reaction to a medicine I was given for contractions I was not having, we then lost our second daughter on December 10th 2012.

Yes I blame the fact that it was a Catholic hospital and a teaching hospital for why we had to lose our second daughter. They should be about saving lives and not all medicines work for every patient. But will I be bitter and cold? No. Because I can not do anything about the fact that I lost our babies. I can not change the past. I can only learn from it and move forward.

Our daughters will not be forgotten, I will not allow their memories to be in the shadows. Any future children we have will know of their twin angel sisters and grow up knowing about death and that it is a part of life. Our future children will hopefully not fear death knowing that they should enjoy life and like their parents, embrace the moment and seize the day.

We had so many plans for our twins. Many felt that we could not handle the responsibility of having two children after not having any from eight years of trying. Who are they to judge or say what we could or couldn't have done? All I hear are judgments and unsolicited advice half the time. Like suddenly you're a parent or have been a parent for years and you know everything so hey, let's give these people who are expecting lots of advice and judge them if they want to raise their children differently than society does.

All those plans for our babies are gone now and what we do now in their memory is all for others, in the memories of other much wanted babies gone too soon. The future is now for our dream babies, our rainbows, the children that we hope to have.

I can not believe that after eight years we were lucky enough to get pregnant with help and thanks to infertility doctors through in vitro fertilization, just to lose everything due to twin twin transfusion syndrome just before their 19th week of life. It is now our ninth year of trying and we are hopeful for our rainbow.

It is bittersweet these feelings. The words "it's not fair" come to mind often some days, or the words "why me?" or "I treasured our pregnancy and our babies.. but they...". It doesn't matter because each person is different and who are we to judge? Even though I do find myself being judgmental at times, no I am not perfect, we all have our moments.

So here we are, the present moment, just trying to do the best that we can and make the most of our time together. My husband and I remembering our baby girls, who were identical and beautiful and looked so much like their father. We will honor our twins while we move forward because that is the only direction we can go in. The past can not be changed, the past can only be remembered.

Forever and ever we love you Apple Marie and Banana Lee!!! Thank you for making me a mother and your daddy a father. We will never forget you and you will forever live in our hearts. <3 <3

Lullaby

'Lullaby'

By Evelyn Schwenke, December 8th 2013

Sweet oh sweet my lullaby
My dream dear dream this is tonight
Someday you'll see that day will arrive
But tonight you are my lullaby

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Hopeful

Still hopeful for our rainbow and dreaming of the day we get to announce all the good news. Hoping for a gentle holiday as there are many anniversaries upcoming this month.

Bringing Awareness to Pregnancy and Infant Loss


Thankfulness

It is not that I wasn't thankful for the month of November, to be honest this year with our our twins has been very difficult and emotionally challenging. I usually do the days of thankfulness and life escaped me... I wrote about half of everything that I was thankful for and didn't write a list.. So this post shall be my list of what I am thankful for this year.


I began to write this November 25th and never was able to finish it until now.

What I'm thankful for, better late than never.. 

1-Our angel babies, because they made me a mother. 
2-My husband, because he is my rock, my everything and my best friend.
3-Our furry babies, our angel cats and our two girl cats Uzume and Roxy.
4-My family, those who are blood related and not.
5-My friends, so many caring, loving, supportive people I know.
6-Our PAIL community, you all have helped give me the strength to move forward.
7-Caring people who do things for others without an agenda or reason.
8-People who give others hope and positivity, the world is a dark enough place already..
9-Sweet potatoes, because they are tasty good and french fries from Red Robin.. 
10-Snowflakes and snowy days, because they will forever remind me of our twins.
11-Mementos of our twins, we only managed to get about 18 weeks with them, so anything we have and receive in their memory is cherished and important.
12-Our support page and charity we have in the twin's memory. It's helped me heal being able to help others.
13-ALL my "nephews and nieces" earthly and angels, Aunt Evie loves you all!!! 
14-Time with my husband, just us, I cherish every moment. 
15-The opportunity to have help trying to conceive thanks to doctors and modern medicine.
16-Moments that take your breath away and leave you in awe.
17-The little things that you don't think are important like physical ability, I'm thankful for what I still have..
18-Dreams, I have them all of the time and many people I know go their entire lives not being able to remember anything. My favorites were my pregnant vivid dreams. 


19-To be alive and be able to live this lifetime and see where it takes me. 
20-For Buddhism and peaceful forms of spirituality because they give me inner peace and happiness.
21-For happy memories. As we get older I feel it's so important to have happy memories. :)
22-Myself, for what I've been able to accomplish over the years with a change of diet, weight loss, spiritual development and more.. I need to give myself credit too and be thankful for myself. :)
23-For Facebook, yes I'm thankful for social networking otherwise I'd not of gotten back in touch with some of my good friends. Many may be annoyed by social networking but this is one of them that I'm actually thankful for. 
24-For Share and Resolve, they've helped me cope and heal with mourning the loss of our twins. 
25-Mother nature, our planet, where we live.. The circumstances may be out of our control due to the elements but it is our home, we should nurture it. 
26-Old friends you haven't heard from in awhile. It's nice to catch up again and start off right where you left off.
27-My digital SLT so I can capture beautiful and random moments. Thank you sweetie! :)
28-For family gatherings. It's wonderful to have everyone together enjoying each other's company, good food and making new memories together. :) 
29-Time...
30-Life.. <3

What I'll Sing To You

'What I'll Sing To You'

Written by Evelyn Schwenke, December 3rd 2013


When you are here with me and the sun is shining
When the day's storms pass and we're left with a rainbow
When the downs turn around and the light peers through the dark
I'll know that this is not just a dream of you
This will be our dream come true

Baby baby so very sweet, we've wanted you for years to be
A melody of a lullaby is dancing in my head tonight
Wondering what this future will bring
New hopes ignited again we shall see
This is the song I'll sing to you when you're here with me
So please be, our rainbow babe

When it's real and when it's right we'll know, we'll feel it, it will be alright
I want to sing so many songs to you, but first you have to make our dreams come true
Please oh please just let this be, not just an idea but a real baby
If this is true then we shall see
This is what I'll sing to you, baby

Baby baby so very sweet, we've wanted you for years to be
A melody of a lullaby is dancing in my head tonight
Wondering what this future will bring
New hopes ignited again we shall see
This is the song I'll sing to you when you're here with me
So please be, our rainbow babe
So please be, our rainbow babe

Friday, October 25, 2013

Awareness For PAIL / Yesterday's Thoughts

Thought for the evening. If sporting events can raise money for tragic events or breast cancer awareness, then why can't they raise money to help with pregnancy and infant loss? Perhaps help with monitoring once pregnant, especially in the case of complications related to pregnancy, and then have a system in place to help with the loss of a child. If sporting events and the local news even acknowledged this BIG thing that effects thousands of people, then who knows what would happen. Perhaps pregnancy and infant loss wouldn't be so taboo anymore.

The First Cold Day Of Fall / Missing Milestones

As I lay here this morning wrapped around a blanket this first cold day of fall watching a movie I wonder about our twins. 

What would they look like now? How big would they be at 5-6 months? Would they be rolling? How often would they smile? How often would they giggle? Would they like our cats? We are missing so many important milestone moments. 

So many people who know us don't know what to say or I suppose feel the grieving period should be over. But after eight long years trying and only to have all our hopes and dreams taken from us, this is not something easier gotten over. Our first anniversary of their loss and birth arrives in December, these holidays will be challenging to say the least. 

We will never get over this loss, we heal from it. The scar will forever remain, this is not a memory we want to forget. And while others get to watch their children grow we only have memories and photos. 

I've wondered before about karma, life lessons and reasons for things being. There was no reason for our twins to die but it happened. Had we known about the risks sooner we could have taken means to try and save them but there would still of been no guarantee. Twin twin transfusion syndrome is a horrible condition. 

Our twins did not leave us just to be forgotten. Their lives had meaning. I fight on speaking out for them. Isn't this what parents do? Stand up, defend, fight and protect their children? 

I am an advocate for pregnancy and infant loss, to bring awareness about it. Don't like it, unfriend me, because this is who I am now. Losing our children changed me forever and that part people wanted to see again died when they did. You're never the same after loss, you adapt, change, grow and accept the new surroundings. 

I am a good mother. And I will be a good mother to our rainbow when that day arrives. I feel like my life has so much more to offer. This can't be it. My path in this lifetime is to be a mother, I've always known it to be true. That's not everyone's career choice but it's mine.

We are now on our ninth year of trying and ever hopeful to be parents to children who are breathing, screaming, crying, laughing; our rainbow after the storm of loss. Ever hopeful for our happy ending and new beginning.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Hope

Thinking of the future and holding onto hope. It is the unknown that bothers me but suppose life wouldn't be interesting if we knew what was to happen.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

About the Pink and Blue Awareness Ribbon & Male Breast Cancer Awareness

The Breast Cancer Site on Facebook recently posted a ribbon that was pink and blue for male breast cancer awareness. It has since stirred up a lot of mixed emotions and caused many in the PAIL (pregnancy and infant loss) community to be upset and offended by the idea of having to share their ribbon with other causes.

I believe this month being Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month brings more emotions to the surface and that it would have been in the best interest of The Breast Cancer Site to share this ribbon graphic that states, "The Ribbons are Pink, But should be Pink & Blue, Women get Breast Cancer, But Men Get It Too!"; another month. However this also happens to be Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

This ribbon has been established for men who have fought breast cancer for awareness since 1996, 17 years ago. There are other causes that the pink and blue ribbon represent for awareness too: Pro-life, Genital integrity, Inflammatory breast cancer awareness, and Infertility awareness.

In 1988 the month of October was officially designated as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. In 2002 a movement was begun first in the USA and then in the UK and other countries. 2002 was the first year the pink and blue ribbons were used to help raise pregnancy and infant loss awareness. In 2002, the first October 15th Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day occurred in the USA and UK. National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day was passed in the House of Representatives on September 28, 2006 in the USA.

As an angel mommy I am not worried, bothered or upset to share the pregnancy and infant loss awareness ribbon with male breast cancer awareness, after all they had it first.

This is what I've learned during my research. Hopefully it can help clear up some confusion and help everyone understand some things about the awareness ribbons associated with copyright dates and causes they stand for.

Links from where information and facts were taken are listed last.


"The Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Movement began in the United States on October 25, 1988, when then-American President Ronald Reagan designated the month of October 1988 as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month."

"The October 15th Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day (PAILRD) Campaign began in 2002 as an American movement started by Robyn Bear, Lisa Brown, and Tammy Novak. Together, they petitioned the federal government, as well as the governors of each of the 50 states, and by October 15, 2002 (the first observance of PAILRD), 20 states had signed proclamations recognizing the date as such. As a result of the American campaign effort, Concurrent Resolution 222, Supporting the goals and ideals of National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day was passed in the House of Representatives on September 28, 2006."

"To date, all 50 American states have yearly proclamations, with Arkansas, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Missouri, New York, Rhode Island, and South Dakota adopting permanent proclamations."

"International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance
Contrary to the popular belief that Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day is internationally legislated and observed as an international day of remembrance, this is not the case.
Through the legislative campaigns of individuals world wide Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day is becoming an international day of observation. Germany and most other non-English speaking countries do not observe this day."

"As a result of the American campaign effort, Concurrent Resolution 222, supporting the goals and ideals of National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, was passed in the House of Representatives on September 28, 2006. House Concurrent Resolution 222 proclaims October 15 of each year to be Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day in the United States."

"The International Wave of Light invites participants from around the world to light a candle in honor of PAILRD, starting at 1900 hours on October 15 in their respective time zones, and to leave the candle burning for at least an hour. The result is a continuous chain of light spanning the globe for a 24 hour period in honor and remembrance of the children who die during pregnancy or shortly after birth."

"October 15th 2002 was the inaugural Baby Loss Awareness Day in the UK and was initiated by a group of parents inspired by Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day in the United States. Through the sale of, handmade blue and pink ribbon pins they raised several thousand pounds for UK organisations supporting bereaved parents."

"The 2003 campaign saw the first ‘Wave of Light’ service held at the American Church in London and attended by representatives and members of each participating organisation. There were also services held across the UK from Scotland to Surrey. Once again, the ribbon pins were made and sold by bereaved parents."

"The 2004 campaign was a more formal collaboration between the organisations involved. The ribbon pins were commercially manufactured and balloon releases were held in several locations. The group organised a secular service at the Royal Statistical Society in London and there were over twenty other events around the UK."

"A pink and blue ribbon is sometimes used to symbolize breast cancer in men, which is relatively rare. The pink and blue ribbon was designed in 1996 by Nancy Nick, president and founder of the John W. Nick Foundation to bring awareness that "Men Get Breast Cancer Too!""

"The pink and blue ribbon is a symbol for promoting:
Pro-life
Genital integrity
Male breast cancer
Inflammatory breast cancer awareness
Infertility awareness
Infant loss awareness
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day is October 15 in Canada, United States, Australia, and UK."




http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pink_ribbon
http://www.babyloss-awareness.org/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pregnancy_and_Infant_Loss_Remembrance_Day
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pink_and_blue_ribbon
http://www.october15th.com/
https://www.facebook.com/TheBreastCancerSite
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151636170741722&set=a.10150307536376722.331374.7210086721&type=1&relevant_count=1

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Random Thoughts

So many random thoughts so I turned some of them into poetry. Not really about one particular thing but just sparks of inspiration to write. I don't seem to write often enough but when something inspires me I try to take advantage of it.

Should Have Been

'Should Have Been'

Today a day should have been ours
But taken away now left with hours

Sitting, waiting, watching the sun rise and set
Reasons to be screaming, crying, upset

Wondering and wishing for a better next year
You should have been with us, you should have been here

Written by Evelyn Schwenke (c) Wednesday, October 2nd 2013

Something Needs To Change

'Something Needs To Change'

You say you're sweet, giving and kind
But from what I've seen you're not worth my time

So many fall for your little scheme
Sadly the trick is on them but not you or me

I know the truth, I've seen your real self
I'll admit my faults but you camouflage yours

How can it be that so many idolize what you do?
When I'm loyal to my cause, but what about you?

Like a thief in the night but stealing treasures every day
Praying on people who are willing to pay

My heart can't take much more, something needs to change
But until we unite together it will all stay the same

Written by Evelyn Schwenke (c) Wednesday, October 2nd 2013

Sugar Coated BS

Even the most "kind people" can have the blackest of hearts, this is due to the false image they present of themselves. I don't appreciate these people because they are living a lie. What I try to do in my life is to be honest, use awareness, mindfulness and not use false speech. I feel that is a better way to live than how others do. I may not be appreciated for it, I may not be as liked for it because I'm not sugar coating any BS, but I'm being real. That's all.

Today and Last Year

Today was supposed to be different, this year was supposed to be different, last December we were not supposed to lose our twins. Trying to be hopeful for the future but sometimes it's difficult to see through the fog.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Turning FB PINK and BLUE for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month this October!

The cover photo I decided to create for myself and for everyone who likes our fb page at Fruit Of The Womb TTTS Angels. Created similar cover photo graphics for our TTTS Angels page and our charity page at Fruit Of The Womb Angels. Uniting together and showing how strong we all are!

Our Beaded Bracelet Keepsake Waiting List 10/01/13

Our current waiting list for beaded bracelet keepsake orders from Fruit Of The Womb Angels

Current as of Tuesday, October 1st 2013

~~~~~   ~~~~~   ~~~~~

List - angel baby name(s) - USA

Grace, Blake Nicole
Lizzy and Sis
Mariah
Jake Edward Carey
7 weeks, France
2 angels, Dorman
Angel Cobee Bell
My'Kel
Journey Leonard and Shelby Elizabeth
Chloe Danielle and Zoe Grace
Baby Stidham
Andrew Milan Martin
42 weeks, Higareda
Amera
Michael L. Betta
Masen James Fritzler
Harmony, Serenity
Elijah Alexander Larsen
Christopher Bryon and David Russel
Lane
Tiffany Nicole
Tovi Wren Smith
Richie Orion Smith
Jayarie
Kaleigh Joyce Henson
ShyAnn Elizabeth Laudrey
Erika Renee Pfeifer
Callie Murrell
Layla, Jayden
Keegan Dennis Taft
Miracle Baby Duran-Fleming, Angel Baby Duran-Fleming

~~~~~   ~~~~~   ~~~~~

List - fatal diagnosed pregnancy, name(s) - USA

Raylee Jo

~~~~~   ~~~~~   ~~~~~

List - angel baby name(s) - outside USA

Chloe Anne Battershell
Nevaeh Elizabeth and Naomi Rose Battershell
Hope Elizabeth, 7 weeks- Evans

(Currently unable to ship outside the USA,
Hopefully in the future we will be international)


~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Shipped Keepsakes List

Gabriel
Treave Franklin Clark
Baby Finley
three babies, Watson
Baby Odom
Robbie and Jake
Tristin Angel
Hope Noel, Lucas David, June Bug
Elektra Carmen Sullivan
Nehemiah
Amy Heather Mandelbaum
Makenzi Dawn Shouse
Emma Star Moore
Jameson
Elijah
Lillian Rain and Liam River
Maggie Rose
Ronan Michael Mullens
Donna Kay Chrisley
4 months, Magner
Aimee Skyler Williams
Aiden Sifuentes
Austin Bradley Togneri
Katelynn Brooke Tipton
Mateo Luke Rochford
Baby Sexton
Spencer John Osterhout
Timothy William Jr.
Shiloah Rathmann
Tanya Jackson

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Pending to Ship Keepsakes List


Heavy Heart

My heart is heavy. So much going on these days and for weeks my hopes were elevated. Onto another month and trying not to lose hope for our future.

Monday, September 30, 2013

Our Beaded Bracelet Keepsake Waiting List 9/30/13

Our current waiting list for beaded bracelet keepsake orders from Fruit Of The Womb Angels

Current as of Monday, September 30th 2013

~~~~~   ~~~~~   ~~~~~

List - angel baby name(s) - USA

Grace, Blake Nicole
Lizzy and Sis
Mariah
Jake Edward Carey
7 weeks, France
2 angels, Dorman
Angel Cobee Bell
My'Kel
Journey Leonard and Shelby Elizabeth
Chloe Danielle and Zoe Grace
Baby Stidham
Andrew Milan Martin
42 weeks, Higareda
Amera
Michael L. Betta
Masen James Fritzler
Harmony, Serenity
Elijah Alexander Larsen
Christopher Bryon and David Russel
Lane
Tiffany Nicole
Tovi Wren Smith
Richie Orion Smith
Jayarie
Kaleigh Joyce Henson
ShyAnn Elizabeth Laudrey
Erika Renee Pfeifer
Callie Murrell
Layla, Jayden
Keegan Dennis Taft

~~~~~   ~~~~~   ~~~~~

List - fatal diagnosed pregnancy, name(s) - USA

Raylee Jo

~~~~~   ~~~~~   ~~~~~

List - angel baby name(s) - outside USA

Chloe Anne Battershell
Nevaeh Elizabeth and Naomi Rose Battershell

(Currently unable to ship outside the USA,
Hopefully in the future we will be international)


~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Shipped Keepsakes List

Gabriel
Treave Franklin Clark
Baby Finley
three babies, Watson
Baby Odom
Robbie and Jake
Tristin Angel
Hope Noel, Lucas David, June Bug
Elektra Carmen Sullivan
Nehemiah
Amy Heather Mandelbaum
Makenzi Dawn Shouse
Emma Star Moore
Jameson
Elijah
Lillian Rain and Liam River
Maggie Rose
Ronan Michael Mullens
Donna Kay Chrisley
4 months, Magner

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Pending to Ship Keepsakes List

Aimee Skyler Williams
Aiden Sifuentes
Austin Bradley Togneri
Katelynn Brooke Tipton
Mateo Luke Rochford
Baby Sexton
Spencer John Osterhout
Timothy William Jr.
Shiloah Rathmann
Tanya Jackson



Friday, September 27, 2013

All Of A Sudden

All of a sudden my l life, my struggles, my problems, and my infertility doesn't seem that important. I still have time..

Today I learned that a good friend of mine I haven't seen in quite some time is going through an intense chemotherapy program that will last several weeks. She and her husband have a 4 week old beautiful baby girl and a 3 year old son. She has her entire life ahead of her and my eyes just want to tear up and cry for her because I'm heartbroken that she has to go through this at such a young age. She will need to stay strong and believe, she and I both have to know that she will beat this!

The tears just don't want to stay in my throat or my eyes. I can't imagine being in her position but she needs to do what she can to come home to her family.

Much love to you my friend!!!! <3

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Stolen Names, Dear Apple and Banana

Dear Apple and Banana, 

I know I don't write to you girls often enough, I'm sorry for that. Your momma has been so busy helping others, honoring the memories of so many precious and much wanted babies gone too soon. 

Yesterday I learned of someone who had taken your unique names and used them for a recent loss of their own. This was done without asking me how I felt, without any update about having a loss, without anything at all. Just a request on a graphic with your names on it from the same page I have been requesting graphics from since the beginning of this year. I was hurt, I was angry, I still feel a little bit of both.

I'm sorry that I couldn't protect you babies. I'm sorry that someone decided to steal your names. They didn't explain how they came to name their babies your names, just that I was being rude to question and and that "it is a free country", that she "is entitled to name her Angels what ever she would like". She said I was being rude but in fact I felt that her response to me was being that, and by not answering what I had asked.

Had she asked me baby girls I may not have minded so much, I may have felt honored, although I would have asked for her to name her 2nd child something different than banana because that name is very special to your daddy and I.

Both your names are so very special to us. Your names have a story behind it, our first ultrasound and seeing your tiny baby circles with beating flickers of heartbeats, we will never forget how that moment made us feel.

A year ago our lives were so very different, you babies were growing and each week was an amazing experience to see you both. Our hearts ache that you're gone, that all we have left of you are memories and our keepsakes to remember you by.

Please send us lots of signs and don't be too upset that your momma is hurt and offended by this. There are things more important that this. The support group here and the charity will go on in your memory and your lives will be honored. Everything that I do, I do for you my loves. You made me a mother, thank you so much for the gift you gave me.

Watch over your parents and send us some baby dust and good luck so we can conceive a rainbow baby brother or sister for you. We dream of having an earthly baby and hope that this time in our lives next year will be filled with celebration.

Momma loves you both so so very much, forever and ever!!! Our snow angels, our beautiful butterflies, our shining stars, our fruit of the womb, our Apple Marie and Banana Lee.  

Hugs and kisses baby girls.

Love,
Your Momma and page admin to Fruit Of The Womb, TTTS Angels and Fruit Of The Womb Angels, Evelyn Schwenke

My Tangible Peace and Tayler's Treasures & Blessings from Heaven, Our shared story.

My Tangible Peace makes some beautiful sculptures in memory of much wanted babies gone too soon. So today I decided to share our story on a fb page that is offering big giveaway, a chance to win one of these precious sculptures by My Tangible Peace. Thank you so much to Tayler's Treasures & Blessings from Heaven for this amazing opportunity!

Without further ado, our story that I shared.
"Our twins were our all and everything. After about eight years of trying to conceive, most of all naturally we decided to try something different and elected for an IVF cycle that would happen in August 2012.

We conceived that IVF cycle, so very lucky and by September we learned we would be having identical twins. Our hearts were filled with happiness and the future felt so bright. During that first ultrasound with they were being labeled baby A and baby B I remember turning to my husband and saying to him with a smile, "baby A and baby B, it's our little apple and banana". After that day the names just kind of stuck.

With scares here and there, hyperstimulation, a cyst rupture, bleeding and being told we had a "threatened miscarriage", we were fearful for our precious little babies. By November our fears were resting, that period of time to be cautious was passing us by and we got to enjoy watching both our babies grow with each of our biweekly and then weekly ultrasounds. We learned we were having identical twin girls, we were on top of the world.

Finally by our December ultrasound we learned there could be a problem, possible of having TTTS, which is twin twin transfusion syndrome. Our hearts were heavy and we were so worried for our babies. We moved forward that week and scheduled immediately for our girls to have a laser surgery hoping it would separate the connected placenta and they would have equal nutrition. The surgery went well but now know that the micro vessels are believed to have not been all lasered apart, you can't see micro vessels.

On December 9th we learned that our baby A had died, her heart was no longer beating and she was still. The night would be a struggle for baby B and myself with a bad allergic drug reaction and little sleep. The next morning on December 10th our baby B's heart rate had dropped and by that afternoon although her heart had flickers of color through out it but it was no longer beating, she was not moving, she too was gone.

I would not labor them, not right away, daily contractions, and 18 days later induced on December 28th 2012. After about 17 hours of labor and back labor they were born. At 11:20am our Apple Marie was born at 5.6 ounces, then at 11:30am our Banana Lee was born at 7.4 ounces. Our twins were beautiful and looked so much like their daddy.

Almost was rushed into emergency surgery because the placenta did not want to be birthed, too much blood loss almost had a d&c and blood transfusion but with one last attempt everything was born.

That is a short story about the girls. Since that time I have created a page in their memory for support and graphics called Fruit Of The Womb, TTTS Angels, a charity called Fruit Of The Womb Angels, a website for the charity, a blog where I write my thoughts at blogger and where I host giveaways; and I only plan to do more things in our twins memory to honor their lives. Everything I do is for our twins, they hold my heart and made me a mother.

Thank you for letting me share our story. I love My Tangible Peace and hope to some day own a beautiful keepsake in our twins likeness. <3 "

Sunday, September 15, 2013

New Winners for I Love You TeddyBear Giveaway!

Congratulations to our two new winners for our I Love You TeddyBear Giveaway!!!

SaraLyn Cooper, mother to Bailee Ann Cooper
Jerrica Magner, mother to Baby Butterfly, and Baby Magner

Our winners will have 48 hours to contact via email to claim their winnings.


Due to an invalid entry SaraLyn won our light brown TeddyBear
One last re-draw was done after sorting through to make sure all entries were valid

Jerrica Magner has won our dark brown TeddyBear with care


These are the results from our re-draw and post about our redraw can be found here http://thoughtsofanangelmommyfotwa.blogspot.com/2013/09/redraw-for-our-i-love-you-teddybear.html

Our link to our original post about having a possible redraw http://thoughtsofanangelmommyfotwa.blogspot.com/2013/09/possible-redraw.html


These are the new two winners from our giveaway, original posting http://thoughtsofanangelmommyfotwa.blogspot.com/2013/08/i-love-you-teddybear-giveaway-4.html

Thank you to everyone who helped us reach our goal of 500 likes by August 30th 2013 on our Fruit Of The Womb TTTS Angels facebook page. Feel free to share our facebook page with others and help us continue to reach new like goals while we create keepsakes, graphics, have giveaways and honor the lives of our twins.






Saturday, September 14, 2013

Redraw for our I Love You TeddyBear Giveaway in the morning

We will be having a redraw for our I Love You TeddyBear Giveaway in the morning as I did not hear from either our winners all last week after several notifications and emails to reach them. Our original list of those who entered will be used and we will have two new winners. Our winners will have 48 hours to contact me to claim their winnings. If I am not contacted by that time we will be taking down this giveaway in it's entirety and will wait at least one month before having another.

An official announcement with our two new winners will be posted in the morning today. Stay tuned and if you win, please reply via email as quickly as possible. I have never had to have a re-draw before and it hurts my heart that I have to do something like this after the amount of work that was put into the creation of this giveaway and the lovely care packages that will be traveling along with our teddy bears.

Take care and goodnight.

Our link to our original post about our giveaway http://thoughtsofanangelmommyfotwa.blogspot.com/2013/08/i-love-you-teddybear-giveaway-4.html

Our link to our original post about our two winners http://thoughtsofanangelmommyfotwa.blogspot.com/2013/09/congrats-to-our-2-winners-i-love-you.html

Our link to our original post about having a possible redraw http://thoughtsofanangelmommyfotwa.blogspot.com/2013/09/possible-redraw.html


Thursday, September 12, 2013

Possible Redraw

On Monday we had our drawing for our I Love You TeddyBear Giveaway and we had two winners. Usually I receive replies within the next day if not the first. 

I'm disappointed to say I have not heard back from either our winners yet. I have now sent out three emails and if I do not hear back by this Saturday we will have a redraw. 

This was such a huge giveaway and big deal reaching our likes goal honoring the memory of our twins. I hope everything is  ok personally with our two winners but on the same hand they knew when our giveaway ended on Sunday and we always have drawing the next day. 

Here is out link to our giveaway post congratulating our two winners. 

http://thoughtsofanangelmommyfotwa.blogspot.com/2013/09/congrats-to-our-2-winners-i-love-you.html?m=1

To our two winners, 
Tasha Pisani and Melissa Anders
Please email me at fruitofthewombtttsangels@gmail.com to claim by Saturday! If I don't hear from you there will be a redraw Sunday morning. 

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Our Beaded Bracelet Keepsake Waiting List

Our current waiting list for beaded bracelet keepsake orders from Fruit Of The Womb Angels

Current as of Tuesday, September 10th 2013

~~~~~   ~~~~~   ~~~~~

List - angel baby name(s) - USA

Aimee Skyler Williams
Aiden Sifuentes
Austin Bradley Togneri
Katelynn Brooke Tipton
Mateo Luke Rochford
Baby Sexton
Spencer John Osterhout
Timothy Williams Jr. 
Shiloah Rathmann
Adilynn Caroline Jackson
Grace, Blake Nicole
Lizzy and Sis
Mariah
Jake Edward Carey
7 weeks, France
2 angels, Dorman
Angel Cobee Bell
My'Kel
Journey Leonard and Shelby Elizabeth
Chloe Danielle and Zoe Grace
Baby Stidham
Andrew Milan Martin
42 weeks, Higareda
Amera
Michael L. Betta
Masen James Fritzler
Harmony, Serenity
Baby Magner
Elijah Alexander Larsen
Christopher Bryon and David Russel
Lane

~~~~~   ~~~~~   ~~~~~

List - fatal diagnosed pregnancy, name(s) - USA

Raylee Jo

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List - angel baby name(s) - outside USA

Chloe Anne Battershell
Nevaeh Elizabeth and Naomi Rose Battershell

(Currently unable to ship outside the USA,
Hopefully in the future we will be international)