Just like a mother would

Worry. It's a condition, a state of being, almost like a disease. It eats away at us and fills our head with doubt and negativity.

After losing our identical twins and gaining a son, our rainbow, I hold onto him a little closer. I figure even if he does want to be held more often than I shouldn't evert complain, in fact I don't.

If only to have a brief moment to visit the bathroom solo and then I'll come back to the busy life of motherhood.

Our son had seemed unset the weather now since yesterday but things seem a little better today. It's frustrating when you're a nursing mother, when the milk doesn't seem to flow as steadily as before. When you fear you're beginning to dry up, a not so irrational concern. But then after some time you feel like things are going to be ok.

I look at our son every day, cherishing every single moment, even the moments when he's screaming or crying. He may have gas or an upset stomach. For now he needs his mother and his father,  for now we can spend this extra time together. For now, this moment, our son is 5 months old. I wonder how much more quickly time will pass by.

No matter the pace, life is right where we dream it to be. Life may be bittersweet because our angels are not with us, but life is good. Just like our son, life is beautiful.