You're So Lucky

"You're so lucky" some may say with a tired look on their face after being up all hours of the night between feedings and diaper changes. But when they say this to me I feel like replying two ways.

First is to reply with, "Well I guess so *insert artificial laugh*, though I'd love to be a mom right now, hopefully someday soon."
Second is to reply with the lesser nice version, "Oh? I'm so lucky. Tell me how I'm lucky. My babies died and I've give anything to have little sleep because of late night feedings and diaper changes. I can only dream that one day we have an earthly family. I'm not lucky at all. Yes I have free time but for almost nine years I've been ready to sacrifice free time and be a full time mom. So you see, you're the lucky one, not me."

I just can't get away with being crabby like that because most people don't deserve that hostility as a reply to their simple comment, probably meaning well but also one that they just shouldn't have said.

It hasn't happened in awhile but I'm sure that as more months pass by and we are still not expecting and the anniversaries arrive and leave; that I will hear those words "you're so lucky" said to me.

Do you know who is the lucky one? The parents who don't have to face life without their children. The parents who never ever have to know what life is like after years of infertility and lose everything that they worked for. The lucky ones are those parents who have their children, alive and well.

Think about what you would feel like if your baby / child / or adult child suddenly died. Just think about it. Now you have just a view into what life feels like with out a part of you in it. The death of a child, less alone two children, is a loss like no other. Try and remember how lucky you are because in the blink of an eye everything can change and there is nothing that can bring back your child once they are gone.